Meet the Auror
by SweetDeamon
Summary: In which Teddy qualifies as an Auror and discovers that not only are all Aurors lunatics, but their secret and long held traditions are even more ludicrous than they are! Meet the... one shot. Set just after Meet the Daughter. AU. RLNT TLOC. Funny, fluffy and really rather daft! Dedicated to Trixie upon getting her new job!


_Note: A silly fic off the top of my head for __**Trixie**__! In celebration of her getting a new job! It's turned out a bit on the daft side...sounded a lot better in my head than in reality! But I did promise to write it, so here it is!_

_Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter._

**Meet the Auror**

He had never felt more nervous in his whole entire life.

Which was quite something, Teddy Lupin mused as he shuffled along one chair in the queue that was snaking its way down one side of the Auror office. There had been a whole raft of nerve-wrecking situations in his life thus far; starting Hogwarts at the age of eleven, asking his then best friend to be his girlfriend, joining his parents' latest incarnation of the Order of the Phoenix, asking his wife to marry him, his first few days at Auror training, his Auror exams...

The door to the office to his left opened and the waiting Auror cadets all flinched at the high pitched sob that sounded from within. Half a second later a blur of robes and blonde hair came stumbling out of the room, making a beeline for the nearest exit. There was a sizeable pause as Teddy and the others watched failed Auror candidate Brooke Farrington disappear amongst the office cubicles, before the voice inside the office called:

"Next please!"

The young man sat at Teddy's side, the next to hear his fate, turned to offer the metamorphmagus a look of sheer terror.

"I...I can't do it!" he squeaked, grasping fistfuls of his black robes in agitation. "I can't go in there! She'll...she'll eat me for breakfast!"

No, Teddy Lupin mused as he attempted to swallow the large lump that had lodged itself in his throat, there had never been a more terrifying experience than waiting to hear whether or not the past three years of his life had been worthwhile; whether or not he was actually going to qualify as a fully fledged Auror.

Teddy reached to pat the wizard somewhat gingerly upon the shoulder.

"Go on, Rod." he murmured, attempting an encouraging smile. "It'll be alright, I'm sure!"

"I...I missed three of the targets in...in that last exam! THREE OF THEM!"

"Try and take some deep breaths." Teddy suggested as Rod's face began to look distinctly purple in agitation, as again the voice from the office called:

"Next!"

Rod reached to bury his face in his hands, sucking in a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself, only to go rigid when the voice from the office called:

"Come on, Rod Hanslow! I don't bite!"

"How does she know it's me?!" Rod asked Teddy, voice high pitched as Teddy gripped his shoulder reassuringly.

"Because you've been quaking in your boots ever since I passed you in the corridor this morning! Now come along, some of us want to go to lunch on time!" the voice called, and Teddy thought Rod Hanslow might very well slide off his chair and curl up into a ball upon the floor.

"If I don't pass..." Rod breathed, turning to offer Teddy another wide-eyed look, "My father'll disown me, I swear it!"

Before Teddy could open his mouth to respond an impatient voice snapped:

"Nobody's going to bloody disown you! Now d'you want this Auror badge or not?!"

Rod Hanslow leapt to his feet.

"Is she joking?!"

"Auror training is not a joke, Mr. Hanslow!"

Teddy watched, smiling faintly as Rod Hanslow practically skipped into the office, but as the door swung itself shut behind him, the metamorphmagus felt apprehension once again settling in his stomach. It was difficult to feel optimistic, he supposed, because despite Rod's apparent euphoria the looks of the previous five candidates as they left the office had all hinted at abject failure.

And it was Teddy's turn to learn of his fate next...

And before long the minutes had ticked by and a relieved Rod had come shuffling out of the office and the voice had called:

"Next please!"

The witch beside him patted Teddy encouragingly upon the knee and whispered:

"Good luck, Ted!"

He could only manage to shoot a distinctly terrified smile sideways at her before rising shakily to his feet. Sucking in a deep breath he forced his legs into motion and shuffled into the office.

His mother was busy scrawling an elaborate signature at the bottom of one form or another, and when she glanced up to see her next victim the Deputy Head of Aurors offered her son a distinctly mundane:

"Morning, Sweetheart!"

"Morning, Mum." Teddy murmured as the door swung shut behind him, and Dora Lupin pushed aside one lot of paperwork in order to begin sifting searchingly through another.

"Sit down, then." she told him quietly, her usual brisk manner soften by her own bout of nerves upon his behalf. "Let's...let's take a look at this file here..."

He went to sit opposite her and watched her fumble with sheets of parchment, his stomach twisting into knots.

"You're shaking, Mum." he observed after moment as she finally found the set of papers she was looking for, and she shot him a smile and suggested:

"You'd better give me your hand then."

As he consented to reaching to grasp hold of her by the hand, Teddy confessed:

"This is a bit odd, don't you think? You...decided whether or not I...I qualify..."

"Oh yes!" the Deputy Head of Aurors agreed, sounding abruptly business-like, though as she cleared her throat purposefully her grip upon her son's hand tightened. "It's beyond strange, love. Now...let's see..."

Teddy found watching her expression as she looked the papers up and down utterly agonising and so he stared down at his lap instead.

"That last Wards exam...that was your...second attempt...?"  
"Third, Mum."  
"Third? Yes...of course...well you've scraped through it at last, just about. Who was examining you?"

"Isaac."

"Ah, well then. I expect you didn't do nearly as badly as he thinks you did...he'd probably fail me on Ward theory if he ever got the chance to test me!"

Teddy managed a huff of almost-laughter, fidgeting in his chair.

"You've been about average in the...in the fitness tests...and you passed well on Defensive Spells and...and I've written here you could probably recite that Ministry legislation book in your sleep...try not to though, you'll keep Carrie wide awake..."

Teddy was forgetting to breathe.

"Most of this looks very...very sound. Except...except I think you rather take after your father when it...when it comes to potions. These poisons and antidote marks are...are really rather poor, Ted. And you...you do worry me sometimes...you know...with your footwork and falls...you're lucky you've not broken your neck five times over already..."

"I can practice. I...I will practice!"

"And you're so awfully slow to recover...I do worry what could happen outside of training. In a real fight..."

Teddy's grip upon his mother's hand grew so tight that she winced at her fingers being crushed.

"You're going to fail me...!" he observed, face flushing in humiliation at the notion, but his mother ignored him.

"You've blown every other candidate out of the water in Disguise and Concealment, obviously. And...and you can hit a moving target at some...some unholy distance...highest mark we've had this year!"

"I...I got that from you, I think..."

"Good flyer...good first aid...you take after your dad by keeping your head in a crisis. And everybody's been quite impressed with your wandless magic..."

"Dad and I've been practicing."

"Yes, I thought your technique seemed rather familiar..."

"My technique?"

"Mm. The way you look like a smug git each time you cast a spell successfully. You certainly didn't get taught that from me!" Dora let the papers fall back down upon the desk with a slap that made Teddy jump. There was a painful pause as the Auror regarded her son thoughtfully for a moment...

Was it Teddy's imagination...or did her eyes look...well...watery?

"I..." Teddy began, not entirely sure what he meant to say, but then she reached to swipe a sleeve across her eyes before a broad smile spread across her lips and she said:

"You've not failed a single test, Sweetheart, and I feel you've got more than enough marks here to qualify as an Auror."

And with that Teddy found himself letting out an groan of relief and before he knew it his mother had risen to her feet, pulling him up after her.

"Come here!" she demanded, struggling to lean across the desk in order to throw her arms tightly around him, and as he numbly consented to hugging her Teddy felt her smother a relieved sob into his shoulder.

"I did it...!" he breathed, feeling utterly dizzy at the news, and his mother let out an odd sort of squeak and declared:

"Of course you did! And I am so, so proud of you!"

"I...I actually did it!"

"Your dad is going to be...be so pleased! You have...you have no idea how happy he'll be..."

"I can't wait to...to tell Carrie!"

"Oh, Carrie! She'll be almost as ridiculously proud as I am, love! Just...just you wait! When your dad gets out of that hospital he and I are going to throw you the...the biggest and...and most elaborate party and...and I'll...I'll...oh Teddy! This is wonderful!"

And as she drew back to cup his face in her hands he found himself grinning quite stupidly at his success and had he not been so giddy he might've laughed at the way she smothered him with kisses in a manner he had not experienced since early childhood...

"Oh, I want to...to burst out into that office and shout to the entire Ministry just how...how proud I am!" she laughed a moment later when she finally saw fit to release him, flopping back down into her chair.

"That would be unprofessional, Mum." Teddy pointed out with a chuckle, and she sighed dramatically and suggested:

"Perhaps I could send it as a...a memo or something then! You'll find it on your desk on Monday morning!" Sighing heavily her gaze drifted up to the ceiling as she confessed: "I've been sick with nerves all morning, love! I've not slept a wink! I've...I've been sat at the hospital with Dad for so long that I...I delegated so many of the exams to others! I'd barely a clue how you'd come along! And I didn't want to ask around...didn't want to kick up a fuss in case...in case you'd done badly..." Shaking her head at the thought, Dora positively beamed as she complained: "I want to leg it over to that hospital right this minute and tell Dad all about it!"

"D'you suppose he'll be well enough to come to the ceremony?" Teddy wondered as his mother retrieved her quill and set about signing the bottom of the papers with an exaggerated flourish.

"Oh he'll be there, love!" the werewolf's wife promised. "If the healers want to stop him they'll have to resort to some seriously heavy sedatives! Now go on, get home to that wife of yours and tell her the good news!"

"Yes, Deputy!" Teddy declared, jumping to his feet and offering her a mock-salute.

"The Head of Aurors will be owling you shortly with details of your hours, salary, contract and a bunch of other technicalities." Dora informed him rather grandly, finishing her mark upon the papers and tossing the quill down upon the desk. Leaning back in her chair she regarded her son for a long moment before telling him: "Your powers of arrest come into effect upon you receiving your badge at the ceremony and not a second earlier. But as of _now_..." she reached to tap a finger at her signature at the bottom of the parchment, "welcome to the department, _Auror Lupin_!"

Teddy grinned.

"Now get out of my office," the Deputy Head of Aurors instructed briskly, reaching to stifle a yawn into her sleeve. "I need to finish off confirming the fate of a load of people's universes before lunch!"

Teddy found his wife hovering by the front door to their flat, in precisely the same way that he had left her some time earlier, and he might have taken a moment to muse whether or not she had in fact moved a muscle all morning, had he not become instantly distracted by her leaping forward to grasp hold of the front of his robes, her eyes growing wide in anticipation.

"Well?" she half-squeaked, rising impatiently up upon her toes, and for a moment Teddy simply stared down at her, marvelling at what he was about to tell her.

They'd spoken at length the previous night about all the possible outcomes, namely the negative ones.

"What're we going to do if Mum fails me?" he'd asked as they lay curled up in bed together, having tucked their daughter up in bed and decided upon an early night themselves.

Carrie had frowned in consideration for a long moment, her head coming to rest against his shoulder as she shifted closer to him. Then the muggle mused:

"You won't have failed everything, surely? If you passed some exams and not others, can you still use those you did pass to help you get another job?"

"Perhaps MLE could stick me behind a desk and let me drown under paperwork if I have a good score on the legislation exams." Teddy had mumbled dully, face contorting at the very thought of being stuck behind a desk whilst watching the Aurors go galavanting around here there and everywhere...Merlin...the thought of it!

Carrie seemed to have read his mind because she had reminded him:

"You don't have to get a Ministry job, you know. The entire population of Wizarding Britain can't all work for the government, after all!"

"Where else will I find a position that pays as well as the Aurors?" Teddy had sighed, reaching to run an absentminded hand through her long chestnut hair. "We need that sort of money if we're to get back on the straight and narrow, pay Mum and Dad back before they slide into debt again themselves!"

"There must be somewhere else, surely." Carrie had insisted, reaching to pull the duvet further over them and shifting to get more comfortable. "What's it you said Isaac Graham's brother does for a living? Isaac was telling you all about it the other week!"

"He's an independent legislation whatsit."

"Officer?"

"Something like that. Goes around all the different manufacturers and they pay him to check their products are meeting Ministry legislation's standards so they don't get done for it. Does research for them, too."

"Well you could do something like that, couldn't you? You said he earns a shedload of money!"

"He also manages to singe his eyebrows on a weekly basis and I hear he nearly lost a finger to a snapping teapot!"

"It sounds like a brilliant job." Carrie had insisted with a snigger, tilting her head up so that she could press a kiss to Teddy's jaw. "Safer than the Aurors, that's for sure!"

They'd talked of other safe and mundane job choices, of the steady employment found at Gringott's these days, of the ward casters and muggle repellers at major sporting events and how he might do well there given his background in the Muggle Liason Office and ward theory during Auror training. The possibilities were wide ranging and all together depressing.

"Merlin," Teddy had mumbled some half an hour later, face contorting as he stared up through he darkness at the ceiling. "If I don't qualify as an Auror, Carrie, I don't think I'll...I'll ever be happy anywhere else!"

"I'm sure you're going to pass perfectly well, love!" Carrie had insisted, reaching to stroke a hand soothingly down his cheek, only for the wizard to mutter:

"Yes, that's exactly what Mum told me last week." He gave a despairing huff and wondered: "How on earth am I going to...to look Mum in the eye again if I fail? She'll be mortified!"

"She's perfectly proud of the son she has whether he passes Auror training or not!"

"Are you kidding? This is my mother we're talking about here, Carrie. She thinks anyone who fails Auror training is some kind of idiot! She'll be humiliated!"

"That's nonsense, Ted. Being an Auror isn't for everyone, in fact it's for barely anyone! Your mum knows that perfectly well!"

"But I owe her and Dad all that money and it could all be for nothing."

"They're not blind optimists, Teddy. I'm sure it occurred to them at the time they gave you the money that you might not pass!"

At this, Teddy had fixed Carrie with a searching look as he wondered:

"And what about my wife? Has it ever truly occurred to her, and I mean _truly_ occurred to her that I might come out of all of this with no job to speak of at all?"

And Carrie had leant to press a firm kiss to his lips, hands reaching to tangle in his pale hair as she murmured:

"I believe in you, love. Whether you qualify or not is irrelevant. You'll keep our family afloat one way or another."

"You think I might work miracles?" he'd mumbled against her lips, and as she'd shifted until she was lying atop him, their foreheads pressed together, the muggle smiled and told him:  
"You've been working miracles ever since I first fell off that swing, Mr. Lupin. What else is magic to a clueless muggle girl, after all?"

And despite everything Teddy had found she made him forget his worries and laugh instead. And when the laughter had died he found his concerns all together distant because he found himself quite preoccupied by her instead, her disarrayed hair and her lips and her bright eyes despite the darkness, and he'd stare at her and hold her, touch her and kiss her and lose himself entirely in her, get carried away by her and let one thing lead to another and another because come tomorrow he might very well be too ashamed to face her at all.

It had all seemed wildly inappropriate behaviour the night before something so pivotal in his life would occur, and he'd realised this a while later as they lay sprawled in a tangle of sheets, her ragged breaths hot against his cheek, and the nerves and panic had suddenly washed over him again, so much so that it had seemed somewhat unimportant when she'd tentatively mumbled:

"Sweetheart?"

"Hm?" he'd mumbled, eyes drifting closed as he returned to Earth with a bump.

"You forgot something." his wife had reminded him, and he'd very nearly laughed because really that had been the whole point of their breathless little interlude.

But then she had said:

"You forgot to cast a protection spell, I think."

Teddy had considered his mistake for a brief few second before deciding:

"We'll be alright."

He'd wanted to admit that he couldn't think straight enough to care about anything other than passing Auror training, that quite frankly the concept of contraception was quite lost to him and she ought be impressed they had even had sex at all.

But despite his fuzzy brain even he could realise that admitting any of this out loud would probably lead to him being slapped at least twice and banished to sleep on the sofa.

"Will we?" Carrie had wondered, sounding far more concerned than he could even comprehend, and he'd assured her:

"I'm sure we will. It was only once, after all."

"It only takes the once!"

"Well I think I passed my final exam this morning and I can only perform one decent miracle per day."

Carrie had stared at him for a long, considering moment before sighing in a distinctly disapproving manner. Nevertheless she had lent to plant one last lingering kiss to his lips and firmly instructed:

"Just go to sleep, for Merlin's sake, before you feel tempted to try for miracle number three!"

He'd wanted to tell her that it had been her hands pulling the nightdress nimbly up over her hips but he couldn't help but think she wouldn't appreciate the accusation. She'd fallen asleep within a few minutes, looking unnatural serene for a time like this...

Her gaze now as she stared up at him was not serene in the slightest, however, and as their daughter came skidding down he hallway towards them Teddy sucked in a deep breath...

Imogen had stopped dead in her tracks, for once, and seemed to realise something of grave importance was about to occur. Teddy might have taken a moment to be mildly impressed had Carrie's eyes not been burning into him in impatience, and he had known there and then that he ought put her out of her misery.

"I'll have to hurry up and get those scarlet robes fitted if I'm to look half decent for the ceremony..." he told her, and she gave such a shriek of excitement that behind her Imogen very nearly jumped out of her skin.  
"I KNEW IT!" Carrie cried, jumping to throw her arms around him, and he was forced to throw his arms around her, leaving her feet dangling some inches above the floor.

Imogen watched, sucking pensively upon a thumb as her parents staggered further down the hallway in a tangle of limbs and laughter and exclamations of triumph, until they had stumbled to a halt and her mother had released her father in order to spin around and ask:

"How about it, Immy love? Daddy's going to be a proper Auror, just like Nana Dora!"

Spotting the telltale signs of a celebration, the likes of which had last occurred upon her grandfather's move into a new room at the hospital where there were far fewer people fussing over him, Imogen paused in her thumb-sucking to ask:

"Does that mean we can we have chocolate ice cream for dinner, Mummy?"

"Oh I'm not sure about that, Sweetheart!" Carrie laughed, and as she was scooped up into her father's arms Imogen frowned deeply and suggested:

"What about strawberry?"

"I think if you eat much more icecream, Imogen Lupin, you're going to go pop!" Teddy pointed out, pressing a kiss to her forehead, and the child sounded deeply unconcerned as she pointed out:

"But I won't, Daddy! Grandad says strawberry ice cream doesn't make you go pop because it's a fruit!"

"Yes...I expect he does say that, doesn't he?" Teddy admitted, and Imogen looked triumphant.

"We'll have to drop in at St. Mungo's before lunch." Carrie suggested, half-bounding down the hallway towards the kitchen to put the kettle on. "Grandad could use a bit of good news couldn't he Immy? I think being stuck in that place is driving him up the wall..."

"I can't stay here any longer." Remus Lupin informed the witch clutching the clipboard at the foot of his bed, his teeth gritted in apparent frustration. "It's driving me up the wall."

"Do try and stay positive, won't you Mr. Lupin?" the healer suggested in a tone so cheerful that it made the werewolf want to wince. "You were in such high spirits yesterday when your son came to visit!"

Remus' face contorted in irritation. Indeed Teddy's visit the previous day had lifted his spirits immensely, but he couldn't help but sound dull now to report:

"Yes, he's just successfully passed final year Auror training."

"Wonderful!" the healer exclaimed, brandishing the clipboard enthusiastically. "Well that's something to smile about now, isn't it?"

"Well it would be if you'd care to discharge me in time for his graduation ceremony this afternoon." Remus told her, slumping back against his pillows, and he had to bite his tongue when she tutted at the charts upon the clipboard and informed him:

"You've an elevated temperature, Mr. Lupin."

"If a slight fever is truly grounds for hospitalisation, Healer Gately, you shall need to build a larger hospital."

"Be that as it may you have been seriously ill..."

"Yes, that did occur to me when my heart stopped and Healer Jones was forced to resuscitate me. That was some time ago now!"

"Mr. Lupin..."

"I wish to discharge myself, Healer Gately."

"I strongly suggest you take some time to think about that."

"I've been thinking about it for almost twenty-four hours..."

"Yes, I'm sure you have. But...but it is my professional opinion that...that you should remain with us for a while longer!"

"Merlin..." the werewolf mumbled, only for the doors at the end of the ward to be thrown open and a familiar figure dressed in an elaborate set of scarlet robes came striding into the room.

"Thank Merlin, a crimson angel!" the disgruntled patient exclaimed, and as his wife came to a halt beside his bed, offering him an arched eyebrow, Remus informed her: "I'm glad the Auror Department could respond to my cries for help at such short notice, Deputy!"

"What seems to be the problem?" his wife inquired, managing to keep a remarkably straight face, and the wizard's eyes widened in alarm as he informed her:

"I'm being held hostage by dark forces!"

Healer Gately looked offended.

Dora rounded on her, dusting a few invisible flecks of dirt from her immaculate attire before briskly informing the healer:

"My husband would like to discharge himself."

"I would strongly advise against that, Mrs. Lupin." Healer Gately said stubbornly, and Dora smiled thinly and agreed:

"Yes, that's why he'll be discharging _himself_."

There was a long pause as the two witches stared rather challengingly at one another.

"Perhaps I might have a talk with Healer Jones?" Dora suggested eventually, and the other witch huffed before turning on her heel and stomping off towards the doors.

As soon as she was out of earshot, Dora turned back to the wizard lying in the bed.

"Do you really think this is a good idea, love?" she asked doubtfully. "I mean...I've told you before what these...these ceremonies can be like!"

"Another reason I wouldn't miss it for the world!"

Reaching to rearrange the discarded belongings upon his bedside table, Dora shook her head in resignation.

"You need to stop being rude to the healers." she told him, sounding bordering on amused. "They're here to help you, after all."

"Healer Gately is exceptionally patronising." Remus mumbled defensively. "And I've been stuck with her for the past two weeks. I'm sure she doesn't have a clue what she's talking about! Do you have any idea how much worse it is to be patronised by somebody who is entirely inept at their job?"

"Remus, love..."

"And if I don't see a...a tree or a...a patch of grass within the next few hours I'm going to lose what's left of my sanity!"

"We'll talk to Healer Jones, he's bound to discharge you."

The werewolf sighed heavily, eyes drifting briefly closed for a long moment before he opened them again to regard his wife as if seeing her for the first time.

"You're looking decidedly conservative for a celebration as grand as this one."

"Yes," Dora agreed, reaching to tug at a wayward strand of dark brown hair. "I'm told it's rather difficult to look like a respected figure of authority with neon coloured locks."

"That's never stopped you before."

"No, I suppose it hasn't!" The Deputy Head of Aurors came to perch upon the edge of the bed, one hand upon her husband's arm as she confessed:

"I just thought, when I got all dressed up this morning in these dress robes and...and spent a good half an hour banishing every spec of dirt from my boots...when I was finished and I stood and looked in the mirror I just thought...or _felt_, I suppose...well..."

"Well?"

"_Old_."

The werewolf gave a huff of almost-laughter that the witch promptly mirrored.

"I've felt old before, mind you. I felt old when Ted graduated from Hogwarts and got a job, and I felt old when he got married...and I felt positively ancient when Imogen came along! But I suppose from now on it's going to be different. It's going to be obvious. Day after day...there'll be me edging closer and closer to retirement and...and there'll be Teddy edging his way up the ranks...and I'm going to keep looking at him and thinking, you know..._oh look, his first independent investigation! I remember when I got given my first independent investigation...! Back when dragons ruled the Earth and people still lived in caves_...! I mean I'm going to be running bloody fitness tests along side him, for Merlin's sake! What...what's that going to be like?!"

Remus sighed heavily, reaching to pat her comfortingly upon the back.

"Just imagine me running with you." he suggested, stifling a yawn into his sleeve. "Then you'll laugh and feel invincible!"

"Oh!" she laughed, leaning so far sideways that her head came to rest against his shoulder, her eyes drifting closed as they both laughed, then she reached to hug his arm to her chest, telling him:

"I feel invincible whenever I think of you, Sweetheart. In fact sometimes I think I knew it all along."

"Knew what, darling?"

"That I'll get old and you'll get old. But _we'll_ be young forever. It's never grown old or complacent or dull, what we have. It doesn't grow brittle or fragile and it doesn't fade. I think I knew from the start it would be that way. Right back when I was young and you were..." Dora trailed off, puffing her cheeks in exaggerated contemplation before settling on: "...younger."

Remus smothered his amusement in her hair, lips grazing her temple as he muttered:

"Wicked woman."

Dora laughed again, only for the sound to deepen to a groan.  
"I want my husband home." she complained, face contorting at the thought. "The house is eerily quiet and the bed feels too empty. And there's nobody to do the washing up."

"Perhaps I might help you there!" a voice said from further along the ward, and the couple looked up to find Healer Jones striding towards them, a clipboard tucked neatly under his arm. After one nod in greeting to Dora, the senior healer held out the clipboard for the patient's inspection and announced: "I have signed your discharge papers, Mr. Lupin. You are free to go home whenever you please. A member of the Home Visit Team will be calling on you tomorrow afternoon to check that you are well settled at home. If there is any change in your condition, be sure to floo us immediately. Do you have any questions?"

"Am I medically exempt from doing the washing up?" Remus asked, and his wife promptly slapped him rebukingly on the arm before springing to her feet.

"Don't answer that!" she told Healer Jones, reaching to snatch up the bag beside the bed, immediately beginning to shove the werewolf's belongings from the bedside table inside. "Come on then, love! We'd better get a move on if you're to be washed and changed in time for the ceremony!"

As they walked arm in arm slowly down the hospital corridors some fifteen minutes later, talk immediately turned to the coming afternoon.

"I'm so relieved he's passed," Dora said for what was probably the hundredth time since finding out the news the previous day. "It would've been so depressing to have to stand there handing out Auror badges and have him not be there!"

"I always knew he'd pass." Remus said, and then they both cast a sideways look at one another because they knew he was lying.

"You'll go gentle on him, won't you?" Remus had said some week earlier when his wife had arrived at St. Mungo's and told him that she would be personally supervising their son's latest test, and at the werewolf's suggestion Dora had admitted:

"That's rather against the rules, love."

"Yes but he's...he's been looking rather sickly of late, don't you think?"

"So would I if I were him." the witch had sighed heavily and confessed: "I'm...I'm not sure about all this, Remus. About Ted, I mean, qualifying." Reaching to rub a frustrated hand across her eyes she complained: "It's better now you're heading out of danger, but it's too late, the damage is already done! He missed a lot these past few weeks...he's been there, of course, but his mind's been somewhere else entirely!"

"I doubt I'd pass, if I were him." Remus agreed dully, and Dora chewed worriedly upon a lip and wondered:

"What're we going to do? If he fails?"

"I don't think we do anything, Dora, he'll pick up the pieces, given time..."

"I mean us, Remus. What are we going to do about us? The vault's empty and we'll be just as skint as Ted is by next month. We can't ask him to start paying us back now, it'll take him time to find a job somewhere else!"

And Remus' eyes had drifted shut in a distinctly resigned fashion and he had muttered:

"I suppose you shall have to go to Gringott's and apply for a loan."

"I'd rather starve." Dora had informed him frankly, and his eyes had snapped open and he had told her:

"I'd rather my granddaughter didn't! We'll get a loan, pay off our bills and give the rest to Ted to tide him over one more month."

"I'm not asking for cash from goblins! Not after last time!"  
"And do you think anyone else is going to agree to lend us money? I only got them before by lying, Dora! Nobody except the goblins wants to lend to us knowing my condition! Werewolves are expensive!"

"We'll find another way! I'll...work night shifts for the month! They'll pay me overtime..."

"You've already signed yourself off as part-time for two weeks to look after me when I get out of here. Harry won't allow you to take on any more work. And even if he did, it wouldn't be enough! I've been holding off paying half those bills for the past three months, the figures are getting ridiculous!"

"We are not getting into debt again!" Dora insisted stubbornly. "Not after we spent so long getting out of it! When we were debt free we could put money aside for retirement!"

"Money which is now gone, Dora..."

"We could talk to Harry."

"We could do no such thing!"

"Ted could talk to Harry! Let Harry lend him enough for the month! If we didn't have Ted to worry about we could just about scrape through! We'd be putting saving back into our vault within a few months!"

"We're not palming our son off on somebody else, Dora."

"We're not palming him off! He's bled our bank account dry! He's a grown man, Remus, and there's only so much we can reasonably do for him! You told Carrie yourself that it couldn't go on any longer! We have to draw a line here before it gets any more absurd!" And with that she'd reached to tuck the sheets more tightly around him, pressing a kiss to his cheek as she insisted: "I'll start night shifts as soon as I'm back full time."

And Remus had simply sighed and mumbled:

"Merlin help us, he better pass!"

They arrived at the Ministry some two hours later once Remus had showered and donned fresh clothes, and no sooner had they located Carrie and Imogen sat in the audience, Dora had left Remus to fuss over their granddaughter. The Deputy Head of Aurors had made a hurried beeline for the stage that had been erected, draped in swathes of scarlet material, the Ministry's insignia emblazoned upon the back wall in shining golden thread. Off to one side of the stage the new Aurors were sat along a series of benches and as she reached the top of the steps up onto the raised platform Dora looked searchingly for Teddy, only for a voice to distract her.

"You're late, Tonks!"

As she turned to face the Minister for Magic, taking in his elaborate robes and faintly ridiculous hat, Dora rolled her eyes at him.

"Oh don't get in a flap, Kingsley, for Merlin's sake!" the Auror muttered as she swept past him to take her seat at the back of the stage between a few bored looking Wizengamot officials and the Head of Aurors. "Not everybody is seated yet!"

"I do hope for my sake," Kingsley uttered just loud enough for her to hear, "that your son doesn't turn out to be as insolent as you are."

"Oh I expect you can count on it, Minister." the Deputy Head of Aurors told him, sounding deadly serious. "Just you go and ask the Muggle Liason Office!"

Before the Minister could so much as raise an eyebrow, beside Dora Harry Potter reached to shove something into his Deputy's lap.

"You forgot your hat."

Dora looked down at the absurd item in question and promptly decided:

"I'm not wearing that!"

"Of course you are, Tonks. We wear them every year..."

"Well I don't. You can check the photographs if you have to! They look stupid and they're all hot and sweaty...you'd have to pay me!"

"We _do_ pay you, Nymphadora." Minister Shacklebolt muttered, casting a warning look over his shoulder at her, and at Dora's side a wizen old witch gave an odd cough that sounded distinctly like suppressed laughter.

"Not nearly enough." Dora hissed, begrudgingly reaching to pull the monstrosity onto her head. With that, the Minister for Magic looked round again, his expression smug, and then he went to take his place at the lectern. Once he had called for silence, Dora pulled the hat back off her head and threw it over the back of her chair. Despite himself, Harry sniggered.

"So," Dora whispered, leaning a little sideways towards Harry as the Minister launched into his speech. "It's your turn, this year!"

"Mm." Harry agreed, nodding his head ever so slightly. "Better me than you, I think."

"Yes...what with Teddy being here..."

"That's what I thought."

"Still...not a whole lot better for him, it being you...should've got Kingsley to do it!"

"Kingsley doesn't want us to do it at all."

"Yeah? Well Kingsley has no respect for departmental traditions!"

"He thinks it's inappropriate with Teddy here."

"He thinks all formal occasion are inappropriate when I'm involved in them."

"Well yes, that's true..."

"Can't ruin it for the others, can we?"

"No, we can't. It was a only bad practical joke the first time it happened..."

"It wasn't a joke, Harry. Mad-Eye didn't know what a joke was, for starters..." Dora trailed off at the sound of a voice being cleared exceptionally loudly.

"As I have just _said_," the Minister's magically amplified voice boomed. "Please welcome the Head of the Auror Department, Mr. Harry Potter, who will now say a few words!"

Harry hastily stood up and Dora made a show of clapping him enthusiastically. Over by the lectern, Kingsley shot her a distinctly dirty look at her loss of headgear.

"Good afternoon," Harry greeted after a quick mutter and wave of his wand, leading to his voice booming around the room. "It's wonderful to see so many people here to support a new generation of Aurors as they take their first steps along what I am sure will be a long and fulfilling path in life. I would like to congratulate each and every one of our graduates today on their hard work, determination and dedication to their training. Auror training has never been for the faint hearted...especially training headed by my Deputy..." he glanced over at Dora who, to Kingsley's irritation, stuck her tongue out at him. "...she only has time to be impressed with you about once every few months and if she's not impressed she's been known to reduce grown men to tears. I keep a box of tissues in my office for precisely this purpose!" He paused with a smile as a ripple of laughter spread through the vast room, before continuing. "Naturally, I jest! In reality what T...Deputy Lupin wants, and it's all I want too, is to train well-grounded, clear-thinking people who can join our family. That's really what we are here, we're a large extended family. We are related in our goals, our duty and our passion for our work. And like any mother would be, I'm sure when she stands here and presents each of those cadets she feels worthy of qualification to me," Harry turned to look down at the young men and women in question. "...Tonks will be immensely proud of every single one of you! So, let's get this ball rolling, shall we? Tonks?"

From where he sat, applauding his mother politely, Teddy watched Dora rise from her seat and take Harry's place. Once Harry had gone to stand beside the table upon which the freshly issued Auror badges were all lined up neatly ready for presentation, Dora took a turn at amplifying her voice.

"I suppose," she said, turning to look at the eager faces staring up at her. "I should probably attempt to install in you all at least one more key piece of advice before I finally qualify you for good. I've spent a while wondering precisely what the most important thing I could tell you could be, and to help me I thought back to my own Auror training and my own qualification. At my ceremony Alastor Moody ranted and raved at us for near on two hours. I don't recall anything much of what he said. Despite the fact that he likely repeated each thing at least twice. So I thought I'd ignore that particular speech and simply think of a few of the most useful things he told me during our relatively short few years together. So, here you have them: pearls of wisdom from Alastor Moody himself. First off: elementary wand safety! Under no circumstances should you ever store your wand in the back pocket of your trousers, you might very well lose a buttock. Secondly: Respect. Have respect for those around you, your departmental superiors and, most of all, respect for yourself! Thirdly...you're signing up for a job that is, at times, frightening. Accept that you are likely to be frightened. Don't lie to yourself. Admit that you are scared witless. Because that's having a sense of realism, right there, and an Auror with his or her head in the clouds is no use to anyone! Accept reality and you might just manage to overcome it! I could go on and on for ages...full of weird and wonderful wisdom, was Mad-Eye! But I'll just leave you with one final thing. It's without a doubt the most important thing you'll ever hear me say...it was certainly the most important thing he ever said. I know this because he never stopped saying it." Dora paused, expression abruptly solemn. Then she snapped: "CONSTANT VIGILENCE!"  
"CONSTANT VIGILENCE!" bellowed the new Aurors in response, before promptly dissolving into laughter, and Dora snatched up the parchment upon the lectern and declared:

"Right then! Let's be having you! Ladies first, I would like to present Miss. Katricia Anne Attsworth!"

Teddy watched the first witch rise from her chair and stride solemnly up onto the stage, her heavy black boots leaving her footsteps to echo around the hall. She crossed to the middle of the stage to polite applause, pausing to accept Dora's hand. They exchanged a firm, formal handshake before the Deputy Head of Aurors pulled the other witch forward into a brief hug, patting her firmly upon the back as she murmured unnaturally loudly:

"Smile, for goodness sake Kat! You've done it!"

Katricia Attsworth seemed to relax a little at this gesture, a broad grin spreading across her face.

"Thank you, Deputy."

"_Thanks, Tonks_." Dora corrected, and the girl laughed and agreed:

"Thanks Tonks!" And with that Dora returned to squinting at the parchment in front of her, called:

"Mr. Rory James McDermott!"

Katricia continued along the stage to shake Harry's hand and be handed her Auror badge, before shaking the Minister's hand and going to take a new seat at the over side of the stage. Meanwhile Rory McDermott had exchanged Dora's handshake for an enthusiastic high-five instead.

"Try not to look so undeniably smug, Rory." Dora suggested, hand reaching toward to grab his before he could make his escape. As they shook hands clumsily, the new Auror asked:

"Why not?"

"Because I've already got one Jasmine Wickes to put up with, I don't need her male counterpart running riot in my department either!"

"Then why are you qualifying me?" Rory asked with a snigger, and Dora huffed and muttered:

"Because I admire a bit of fire in a person, Rory. Merlin help me, I might live to regret it!"

Rory's expression grew suddenly serious, and he reached to press a firm hand to the Deputy's arm.

"I won't ever forget what you've done for me." Teddy heard him murmur. "If...if Harry was in charge this year he'd never have qualified me..."

"You're welcome, love!" Dora told him cheerfully, making to look down at the parchment again, only for his grip upon her arm to tighten.

"I'll follow any order you ever give me." the new Auror vowed fiercely. "And I won't piss around either, I swear it. You don't have to worry about me, Tonks. You and Harry and...and this department have got me. One hundred percent. I won't ever let you down!"

Deputy and new recruit stared intently at one another for a long moment, and then she nodded and quietly told him:

"Kindly go and collect your badge, Auror McDermott. The Auror Department is honoured to have you." And once he had hurried off towards Harry she called: "Mr. Nathanial Cyrus Groves!"

The number of new Aurors was, given the number of people who had been accepted into the training program three years previously, somewhat small, and it was not long before there were only a few people left waiting to be summoned. And then Teddy had felt his heart leap in his chest to see his mother pause, gazing down at the parchment. Then she had positively beamed to called:

"Mr. Theodore Remus Lupin!"

Teddy stood up, glancing towards the spectators as he walked to the stage. There he spotted Carrie clapping enthusiastically whilst beside her Imogen was bouncing wildly up and down upon her grandfather's knees, waving her arms around above her head. He waved at them before taking the stage steps two at a time. He made to shake his mother by the hand but she pulled him into a hug instead and her tight hold upon him made the shock of triumph strike him all over again.

"Dad and I," Dora whispered as he bestowed an equally tight grip upon her in return, "have never, and I mean _never_, been prouder!"

"You're not going to cry, are you?" Teddy wondered, and her voice seemed a little higher than usual when she muttered:

"Oh shut up! Let me...let me get a look at you!" She shuffled him backwards until she could look him up and down, dressed in scarlet Auror dress robes for the first ever time.

"Merlin...!"

"Don't cry, Mum. I know that's what proud mothers are meant to do, but you've not finished reading out names yet..."

"Yes, yes! I know...it's just..." Dora shook her head, positively beaming, and she felt compelled to tell him: "I love you, you know? Don't tell me you love me, though! You'll...you'll set me off! Now, go and give Harry a hug, for goodness sake! He's fidgeting with anticipation so much it looks like he needs to use the bathroom!"

And with that Teddy went to accept his badge from Harry, who gave him a firm hug and muttered similarly proud exclamations, and within moments Teddy had shook Minister Shacklebolt by the hand and gone to sit down again. The last two new Aurors crossed the stage to continued polite applause and then Harry returned to the lectern, Dora going to stand at Kingsley's side.

"Now every year we like to acknowledge particular promise in one of our new Aurors. We seek to identify somebody who, to our minds, shows great potential through hard work, dedication and talent. This person is picked to graduate with honours. And this year, after much deliberation, Deputy Lupin and I have decided that..."  
BANG!

Teddy very nearly knocked his chair over backwards in surprise as an explosion of darkness seemed to suddenly descend upon the watching crowd, eliciting a series of frightened screams and panic as the audience all scrambled around in the dark, and within half a second a bright flash of light caught Teddy's eye...

Teddy had barely leapt to his feet, hand fumbling for his wand when a shriek of terror pierced the air to see a bright streak of neon green light come shooting across the room. Teddy watched in panic to see it strike Harry square in the chest, throwing his instantly limp body to the floor like a rag doll. Suddenly everything seemed to happen at once, the panicked crowd began to attempt to fight their way free from the rows of chairs to make a run for the fireplaces as the elderly witches and wizards in Wizengamot robes all seemed to become quite hysterical, one witch screaming:

"WE'RE UNDER ATTACK!"

One of the new Aurors behind Teddy managed to trip over his chair in the commotion, and as he blinked to try and see through the cloudy darkness Teddy thought he could make out a series of dark cloaked figures shoving their way through the crowds...

"Bloody hell!" cried Rory at Teddy's side, and Teddy found himself flinging aside chairs as he snatched up his wand:

"Protect the Minister!" he shouted wildly, heart hammering in his chest as he made to run up onto the stage. The darkness seemed to be getting thicker and yet as he led a few of the less bewildered Aurors forward Teddy could still make out the figures of various people.

He very nearly ran straight into Kingsley, who had taken refuge with the other Wizengamot officials at the back of the stage.

"Minister!"  
"Ted?!"

"I don't know what...but...you have to get out of here!"

"How do you suppose I do that? We're surrounded..."

Teddy opened his mouth to respond only for the words to die in his throat when a stunning spell came streaking across the stage, striking one of the new Aurors in the shoulder, sending him crumpling to the floor, the witch beside him letting out a small scream of alarm.

Teddy gritted his teeth against hysteria, squinting around for inspiration as the dark figures loomed ever closer.

Don't panic, he told himself furiously, as he saw one of the mystery attackers knocked down by a stunning spell, and he felt relieved when the spell's caster shouted:

"AURORS TO ME!"

"AURORS TO DEPUTY LUPIN!" the Minister bellowed, giving both Teddy and Rory a shove in the right direction, and as the small group of remaining Aurors all rushed to Dora's side, Teddy flinched as another was knocked down by a spell. Rory tried to fire back at the perpetrator, only for his spell to miss, and when the mystery person retaliated Teddy was forced to throw up a shielding charm. Skidding to a halt behind his mother, Teddy found her bellowed instructions, structure amongst chaos, were calming to his nerves and within seconds, with two Aurors on the attack, Dora had organised the rest into hastily casting as many protective spells as possible, until the stage had become a form of magical fortress, spells. Leaning through their magical barriers they were able to pick off the remaining intruders, the task growing easier as the crowd dispersed, until just one remained. Alone, the person turned to make a run for the nearest fireplace, only for the movement to throw the hood back from their head to reveal shock of dark red hair and a familiar grinning face...

"Jasmine...?!" Teddy cried as confusion instantly descended amongst the remaining Aurors and Dora shouted:

"ALRIGHT! STAND DOWN, EVERYONE!"

Teddy watched numbly as Auror Jasmine Wickes reached to yank the dark cloak from around her shoulders and movement behind him made him spin round...

Harry scrambled back onto his feet, apparently entirely unharmed.

"Somebody get rid of all this darkness powder!" Minister Shacklebolt demanded. "It's making me cough!"

"What the bloody hell is going on?!" Rory cried, and Jasmine Wicked hopped up onto the stage and reached to slap him upon the back.

"Well done, then!" she declared cheerfully. "You've just stumbled across the best kept secret in the whole of the Auror Department: What really happens at Auror Graduation Ceremonies!"

"What?!" Rory exclaimed, and Teddy felt his face reddening as he asked:

"Are you saying...you all dress up as...as dark wizards every year and...and pretend to attack the Ministry?! Just to...to see what we do?!"

"Something like that!" Jasmine said cheerfully, and Rory pointed out:

"That's bloody insane! What about all our family and...and friends in the audience?! You've scared the life out of them!"

"Nah," Jasmine said, waving a dismissive hand. "They saw it coming. It's in the programmes they got given on their way in!"

"What?!" Rory cried again. "Where?! Let me see!" And with that he stormed off in search of one of the papers that had been thrown to the ground in the commotion.

"I love my job, you know." Jasmine commented cheerfully as she gave Dora an enthusiastic thumbs up. "I mean who else gets paid to curse their boss halfway across the room?! Did you see, Tonks?! I got him square in the chest!"

"Thank you for your enthusiastic cooperation, ladies and gentlemen!" Harry called to the room at large as the audience began to shuffle back to stand in front of the stage. "This little dramatic interlude has been a well-guarded secret amongst Aurors for many years now...ever since Tonks was promoted to Deputy, as it happens! Many years ago now when Alastor Moody was qualifying his last group of Aurors, the Minister for Magic first suggested the idea of picking one person to qualify with honours. And so, being the eccentric that he was, Moody decided to choose who this person would be with a test! He threw the ceremony into disarray just as we did today and took note of which new Auror responded in the most appropriate manner! As it happens that Auror was Deputy Lupin, here! And she's kept this 'test' that Moody devised going every year so that we can best decide who should qualify with honours!" He glanced round to find Kinglsey and Dora huddled together, having a rapid conversation until Kingsley nodded and went to stand at Harry's side. He murmured something in Harry's ear and the Head of Aurors grinned.

"And this year we have decided," he called as Rory shuffled back towards the stage. "that for fast reaction times, keeping his head under pressure and following protocol by attempting to secure the safety of the Minister for Magic at the first available opportunity, we wish to qualify, with honours, Mr. Ted Lupin!"

Teddy might have felt a little more proud if his heart was still racing in his chest. He stumbled forward to shake Harry by the hand.  
"That was utterly insane, Harry." he muttered, and the Head of Aurors looked rather as if he wanted to agree with him. But instead Harry merely attempted to flatten his wayward hair a bit and admit:

"Well you had better get used to it, Ted. We're all insane here, you know. And you're one of us now!"

And suddenly Teddy felt as if he could see the funny side. Because he had to, really.

Because he really was one of them now...


End file.
